Dear Abby: Colleague hasn't been honest with the boss

A Colleague's Secret Raises Concerns Among Teammates

When Erin, a coworker, accepted a new job, she failed to inform her boss about it. This decision led to several team members feeling resentful towards Erin, who had been allowed to work from home since the COVID-19 pandemic, while others were expected to return to the office.

One of these team members, Tangled Web in New Mexico, decided to confide in their boss about Erin's situation, despite being asked not to. The person claims that this was a matter of loyalty and honesty, but the letter reveals that Erin had already informed her of the new job, albeit without sharing it with the boss.

Dear Abby advises that the decision to speak up was indeed the right thing to do. In California, where Erin lives, taking on a second job while still being employed would be grounds for termination. The advice suggests that keeping quiet about this situation might have allowed Erin to maintain her position, but also risks creating an unfair perception among teammates.

The column goes on to address two other readers' concerns. Memory-Ridden in Michigan experiences flashbacks of past conversations and regrets not responding at the time. Dear Abby advises redirecting thoughts away from these reminiscences and reminds readers that while we can't change the past, we can learn from our mistakes.

In a surprising question, Wondering in the Midwest seeks advice on proper etiquette for attending Mass. After consulting with her Catholic priest, she wonders if crossing one's legs is considered an impolite posture. While some Orthodox cultures view this as disrespectful, the response notes that in America, it's generally seen as too casual and relaxed.
 
I'm totally against Dear Abby here... I think Tangled Web was a total buzzkill by ratting Erin out to their boss πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ. If anyone had a right to know about Erin's new job, it should've been her directly, not some team member who got all bent out of shape. And honestly, Erin didn't even have to share the details with anyone - if she wanted to keep it on the down low, that's her prerogative 🀐. I mean, what's the big deal about working from home vs being in the office? It's just a job, right? Let people set their own boundaries and don't judge others for doing what they want... πŸ˜’
 
omg I cant even believe Erin would keep a new job on the down low lol like whats next?! she shoulda been upfront about it from the start πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ its not cool to make others feel resentful just cuz she wants more $$ tho Dear Abby said she did the right thing though, even if it means risking her job idk man... πŸ˜‚
 
I'm so done with people making a big deal about loyalty here πŸ˜’. Erin didn't do anything wrong by not telling her boss about her new job - it wasn't like she was hiding it from everyone, just from her boss πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ. And honestly, I think Tangled Web in New Mexico is kinda the real hero here for speaking up and keeping it real πŸ’―. It's not about being disloyal or secretive, it's about not wanting to be treated unfairly because of a personal decision that has nothing to do with your job performance πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ. And can we talk about how annoying it is when people make assumptions and jump to conclusions without all the facts? Let's just chill and let Erin live her best life πŸ’β€β™€οΈ.
 
I totally get where Tangled Web was coming from, but honestly I think they should've just kept it to themselves πŸ€”. Erin already told her boss about the new job, so why bother jumping into the conversation? It's not like Erin did anything wrong, you know? People are feeling resentful because of company policies, not because Erin is a bad person 😐. I'm all for loyalty and honesty, but in this case, maybe just keeping quiet was the better call πŸ’Έ
 
I'm curious about Erin's situation... seems like a tough spot to be in πŸ€”. If she had already told her boss about taking on another job, I don't see why she couldn't just own up to the fact that she was working from home while others were coming into the office. It feels like a bit of a double standard, if you ask me πŸ˜•.

I think it's interesting that Dear Abby weighs in with advice, but also acknowledges that Erin might've been better off keeping quiet about the whole thing... at least that way, she wouldn't have created tension among teammates 🀝. On the other hand, I can understand why Tangled Web felt obligated to speak up - loyalty and honesty do matter πŸ’―.

What do you guys think? Do you think Erin was right or wrong in not sharing her new job with her boss? πŸ€”
 
I'm totally with Erin here... πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ She did nothing wrong by keeping her new job a secret from her boss. I mean, who wouldn't want to work from home forever? It's not like she was sneaking around or anything. And honestly, if Tangled Web in New Mexico had kept quiet, they'd be the one looking guilty! πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈ Dear Abby is way off on this one - keeping mum would've been a better idea... πŸ˜’
 
πŸ€” "The best way to get ahead is to start with the right attitude." 😊 It seems like Erin's situation has sparked quite a few conversations among her colleagues. I think it's natural to feel resentful when rules seem unfair, but speaking up without being asked can be tricky too. πŸ™…β€β™‚οΈ Maybe we should focus on how we can navigate these situations with empathy and understanding? πŸ’•
 
I feel bad for Erin's team members πŸ€•. They're already dealing with the stress of returning to the office after being allowed to work from home, and now they find out their colleague is taking on a second job? It's not fair at all. I think it's good that Tangled Web spoke up, but maybe she could've handled it differently... like telling Erin to keep her new job private first? πŸ€” And I love how Dear Abby emphasizes the importance of learning from our mistakes and not dwelling on the past πŸ’‘
 
I think it's quite telling that Erin felt the need to keep her new job a secret from her boss, which ultimately led to a rift with some teammates πŸ€”. On one hand, she was trying to maintain some semblance of flexibility in her work life (having worked from home since COVID), but on the other, her secrecy created resentment among those who were expected to be more traditional about their office attendance.

It's also worth noting that Dear Abby's advice seems somewhat... pragmatic? By advising Erin to keep quiet, she's essentially telling her that it's better to suffer in silence than risk losing her job, which doesn't exactly feel like a ringing endorsement of honesty and integrity πŸ™.
 
I wonder what Erin did wrong by sharing about her secret with Tangled Web in New Mexico... didn't she already tell her boss about her new job? πŸ€” And isn't it fair to expect everyone on the team to keep their personal life private, like at a normal office?

It's weird that taking on a second job would get Erin fired in California, but not sure if it's really fair to hold it against her... maybe her boss was just trying to control people? πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ Also, I'm kinda with Dear Abby on this whole learning from mistakes thing - we can't change the past, right?

I feel bad for Memory-Ridden in Michigan - those flashbacks can be super tough! Maybe redirecting thoughts is hard, but it's good that she's acknowledging her feelings? πŸ€— And omg, crossing legs at Mass? That's a new one for me... I thought we were all supposed to sit still and listen or something? πŸ˜‚
 
OMG, like I'm totally on board with Tangled Web's decision to spill the tea about Erin πŸ΅πŸ‘€! You gotta keep it real and show loyalty, right? And girl, if California is all about terminating people for taking on a second job while employed... that's low-key savage πŸ’β€β™€οΈ. Meanwhile, I feel Memory-Ridden in Michigan like, totally get it - we've all been there with those pesky flashbacks 😩. But redirection is key, and honestly, can't help but think about how much better our lives would be if we could just go back in time and respond to those past conversations πŸ’«.

And Wondering in the Midwest? Like, crossing legs at Mass isn't really that deep, you know? πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ In America, it's all about being comfortable and relaxed - and honestly, who doesn't love a good leg-crossing session while listening to the priest's words of wisdom πŸ˜‚. I guess if you're Orthodox and it's super cultural thingy... but for the rest of us, let's just say, go ahead and cross those legs πŸ€—!
 
I feel bad for Erin, you know? She was already given a lot of leeway during COVID and now she gets hit with this new expectation? πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ I don't think it's entirely fair to the others who had to follow the rules while Erin got to work from home. But at the same time, Tangled Web did kinda break the trust, you know? It's like they thought they were being loyal by telling on Erin, but really they were just jumping into drama. πŸ˜’
 
I'm seeing a lot of resentment building up over Erin's situation... teams are already stressed, now they feel like they're being discriminated against because she got to work from home and others didn't πŸ€•. I don't think this is the right way to handle it tho, Erin should've just been honest about her new job in the first place πŸ™„. It's not fair to expect teammates to keep secrets like that πŸ’”.
 
Wow πŸ€” This situation is just so complicated πŸ“ˆ I mean, Erin did get to work from home which was probably a big perk for her, but then she went and got another job without telling anyone... that's just poor planning πŸ˜‚. And now the whole team is feeling resentful towards her? That's not cool πŸ‘Ž. I think Dear Abby made the right call though, speaking up about it was necessary πŸ—£οΈ. But yeah, Erin should've been more transparent about her new job πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ.
 
I'm just thinking, Erin should've been more considerate about sharing the news herself... πŸ€” I mean, her team was already feeling down about having to go back to office while others get to WFH... and now they're all resentful towards her? Yeah, I don't think keeping quiet was the best idea, even if she did tell Tangled Web... 😐
 
I gotta say, Erin's situation has got me thinking... πŸ€” It seems like she kinda set herself up for this by not telling her boss about the new job in the first place πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ. I mean, she was already working from home, so it's not like it was a big deal, right? But then again, taking on another job without permission is a total no-no... 😬

And now that Tangled Web spilled the beans, Erin might be in trouble 🀯. I'm all for being loyal and honest, but maybe she should've had a convo with her boss about it instead of keeping it under wraps πŸ’¬.

It's crazy how some people can't help but think they're doing someone a favor by speaking up... πŸ™„ And yeah, taking on another job while still employed could definitely be grounds for termination in California πŸ“Š. Guess Erin won't be getting that promotion she was hoping for 😐.
 
πŸ˜’ so Erin gets to work from home but others are stuck in the office, huh? what's next, a company-wide game of musical chairs where the popular kids get all the perks? πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ I mean, I'm not saying it's fair or anything, but if I had to choose between commuting or having my PJs as my "uniform" for the day, I'd probably pick... you know what, nevermind. πŸ™…β€β™€οΈ
 
I totally get why Tangled Web did what they did πŸ€·β€β™€οΈ - we've all been there when we feel like we're not being honest, right? But honestly, I think Dear Abby was kinda harsh on Erin 😐. If she's got a second job and is still employed, shouldn't that be her personal business? And what's the harm in sharing it with one person, even if it wasn't her boss πŸ€”. Plus, if everyone kept secrets like that, we'd never know who's really happy or struggling in our own teams πŸ™ƒ. I'm more of a "keep it real" kind of person, but maybe I'm just too laid back 😎.
 
Omg Erin is so lucky to have Tangled Web on her side πŸ’–πŸ˜‚ I mean I can understand why team members were bummed about not being able to work from home, but I would've thought Erin would've been more considerate about keeping it under wraps πŸ€”. But honestly, it's a good reminder that we all make mistakes and try to learn from them πŸ™. And yeah, some people might be worried about speaking up, but sometimes you gotta be brave for others 😊. And can we talk about how crazy it is that Erin could've gotten in trouble for having a second job? That's wild! πŸ‘€
 
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