A senior man is at a crossroads with his long-time girlfriend, who he's been dating for seven years despite their communication issues stemming from past hurtful comments. The woman, eight years younger than him, has become increasingly distant, and even simple gestures like holding hands have lost their appeal.
The man, an only child, and his girlfriend came together through relatives, while she grew up in a broken home and was devoted to her mother until her passing. Over the years, they've had moments of tenderness, but communication problems have persisted, particularly when it comes to issues that made her uncomfortable. When he offered to buy a ring, signaling his commitment, she became upset.
Recently, their relationship has deteriorated further, with the woman telling him not to visit as often and blaming past comments for her current discomfort. The man claims he's always been light-hearted but never intended to hurt anyone's feelings, having even joked about himself before. Despite apologies and a suggested couples' therapy session, things haven't improved.
Abby advises that this relationship might be the wrong fit, stating that the woman is no longer physically attracted to him and struggles with open communication when problems arise. She suggests it's time for him to expand his social circle in search of someone who can work through issues together.
In another scenario, a married woman in her 40s has been navigating a challenging living arrangement with her husband and his almost-20-year-old daughter, Amber, whom he raised alone after her mother passed away. The husband has overcompensated for the lack of maternal figure in Amber's life, resulting in an entitled child who is disrespectful to him as well.
The woman tries to maintain neutrality but feels unappreciated and turned against when she expresses concerns or tries to support her husband during disagreements with his daughter. Abby advises seeking a marriage and family therapist to address the underlying issues and encourages the couple to have open discussions about boundaries and respect within their household.
In both cases, Dear Abby emphasizes the importance of honest communication and addressing unresolved issues before they escalate into full-blown conflicts.
The man, an only child, and his girlfriend came together through relatives, while she grew up in a broken home and was devoted to her mother until her passing. Over the years, they've had moments of tenderness, but communication problems have persisted, particularly when it comes to issues that made her uncomfortable. When he offered to buy a ring, signaling his commitment, she became upset.
Recently, their relationship has deteriorated further, with the woman telling him not to visit as often and blaming past comments for her current discomfort. The man claims he's always been light-hearted but never intended to hurt anyone's feelings, having even joked about himself before. Despite apologies and a suggested couples' therapy session, things haven't improved.
Abby advises that this relationship might be the wrong fit, stating that the woman is no longer physically attracted to him and struggles with open communication when problems arise. She suggests it's time for him to expand his social circle in search of someone who can work through issues together.
In another scenario, a married woman in her 40s has been navigating a challenging living arrangement with her husband and his almost-20-year-old daughter, Amber, whom he raised alone after her mother passed away. The husband has overcompensated for the lack of maternal figure in Amber's life, resulting in an entitled child who is disrespectful to him as well.
The woman tries to maintain neutrality but feels unappreciated and turned against when she expresses concerns or tries to support her husband during disagreements with his daughter. Abby advises seeking a marriage and family therapist to address the underlying issues and encourages the couple to have open discussions about boundaries and respect within their household.
In both cases, Dear Abby emphasizes the importance of honest communication and addressing unresolved issues before they escalate into full-blown conflicts.
. I think these relationships are actually strong foundations for growth. The fact that they've been together for 7 years shows how committed and dedicated they are to each other. Yeah, there's some communication issues, but isn't that what couples therapy is all about? 
And let's be real, a little hurtful comment from the past doesn't define an entire relationship. It's like, we're human, we mess up, and if they can work through it, that's even stronger. I think the woman should give her boyfriend some more space to prove himself before writing him off 
. And as for the husband and Amber, I don't think a marriage therapist would be enough - family dynamics are way too complex. What they need is just some tough love and setting boundaries. I mean, if you're going to live together, you gotta respect each other's space. It's time to take responsibility and not make excuses 
.
. Seven years is a long time to be together, but it's clear that their communication issues are major 
. I think Abby is right, he should expand his social circle and find someone who can work through issues with him together 
. As for the other couple, it's so sad that Amber has turned out entitled 
. The husband needs to set some clear boundaries and prioritize respect in their household 
these couples are just stuck in the past, holding on too tight 
and refusing to let go of what's not working anymore 
they're both scared of being alone, I get it, but so is everyone else out there 
it's no wonder she's become distant, her man's all lovey-dovey and oblivious to her struggles 
it's time for him to take a step back and let her grieve in peace 
and now she's just checking out 
what's interesting is how he thought buying a ring would seal the deal, like that's gonna fix everything 
but it sounds like they've been past their expiration date 
maybe abby's right, time for him to branch out & find someone who can vibe with him on all levels 
or in the other case, the mom is stuck between being a peacemaker & feeling disrespected 
gotta have that convo about boundaries, ASAP 
. He keeps saying he's light-hearted and never meant to hurt anyone's feelings but honestly, words can be super hurtful, you know? He needs to listen more and talk less. Maybe he's not ready for someone who can stand up for herself and set boundaries?
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but I don't wanna spend the money...
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It's like he's trying to make up for not having a mom by being an overbearing dad to his daughter 
? That's just not how it works, dude! 
He needs to find that balance and teach Amber some respect without suffocating her. And honey, communication is key in any relationship 
... I'm surprised he hasn't lost his mind yet 
!
) but he's neglecting to listen to her concerns and address the communication issues head-on 
it's like they're trying to force their relationship into a neat little square box 
when really, it's time for them to re-evaluate and expand their own personal growth boundaries 
meanwhile, the husband with his daughter is just adding more complexity to an already tangled web of emotions 
and honestly, it's scary how entitled Amber is being 
at least Abby's got some solid advice on communication and boundaries 
anyway back to these relationships...I think it's super reasonable for Abby to say the guy might be better off without his gf - all those hurtful comments and now she's just distant? 
anyway, communication is key! 
but honestly, if she can't even get excited about simple gestures like holding hands anymore, that's a major red flag 
. And those hurtful comments from the past are still haunting her 
. Need some couples therapy stat! 
... Overcompensating for his daughter's lack of mom is one thing, but disrespecting his wife in the process? Not cool 
. Couples therapy would've been a good idea from the start, not just when things go sour 
. And hey, at least the woman and husband are getting some professional advice 
.
?