In the aftermath of Thanksgiving, many of us are still reeling from the cringe-worthy moments we endured at family gatherings or holiday parties. But what exactly is awkwardness, and why do some people seem to struggle with it more than others? According to philosopher Alexandra Plakias, author of "Awkwardness: A Theory," awkwardness is not a personality trait, but rather a property of situations that break down our unwritten social scripts.
When these scripts fail us, we're left improvising without a map. We may feel uncertain or self-conscious in the moment, leading to cringe-worthy interactions with others. However, Plakias argues that awkwardness is not about being afraid of other people; rather, it's closely linked to uncertainty and our fear of creating awkwardness.
In this sense, awkwardness becomes a social tool, a way for us to signal civility and friendly intentions, even in the face of uncertainty. Small talk, which often feels like an exercise in avoiding meaningful conversations, can be seen as a necessary evil that gives us something low-stakes to cling to.
Yet, when we're too afraid of awkwardness or go out of our way to avoid it, we risk losing real connection with others and avoiding important topics altogether. By embracing uncertainty and clarifying our priorities, we can begin to navigate these uncomfortable situations more effectively.
Ultimately, the goal should not be to eradicate awkwardness but to learn to relate to it in a new way. By practicing self-compassion and exposure to discomfort, we can start to see that awkward moments are not the end of the world but rather opportunities for growth and connection.
So, the next time you find yourself fumbling over a conversation or unsure of how to react in an uncomfortable situation, try to shift your perspective. Remember that awkwardness is not about being bad at socializing; it's about navigating the complexities of human interaction with uncertainty and vulnerability.
When these scripts fail us, we're left improvising without a map. We may feel uncertain or self-conscious in the moment, leading to cringe-worthy interactions with others. However, Plakias argues that awkwardness is not about being afraid of other people; rather, it's closely linked to uncertainty and our fear of creating awkwardness.
In this sense, awkwardness becomes a social tool, a way for us to signal civility and friendly intentions, even in the face of uncertainty. Small talk, which often feels like an exercise in avoiding meaningful conversations, can be seen as a necessary evil that gives us something low-stakes to cling to.
Yet, when we're too afraid of awkwardness or go out of our way to avoid it, we risk losing real connection with others and avoiding important topics altogether. By embracing uncertainty and clarifying our priorities, we can begin to navigate these uncomfortable situations more effectively.
Ultimately, the goal should not be to eradicate awkwardness but to learn to relate to it in a new way. By practicing self-compassion and exposure to discomfort, we can start to see that awkward moments are not the end of the world but rather opportunities for growth and connection.
So, the next time you find yourself fumbling over a conversation or unsure of how to react in an uncomfortable situation, try to shift your perspective. Remember that awkwardness is not about being bad at socializing; it's about navigating the complexities of human interaction with uncertainty and vulnerability.
like last thanksgiving my cousin asked me how many kids i had (i dont) and then proceeded to talk about her own fertility issues... meanwhile i'm just sitting there thinking "um, yeah, i have 2 nieces who are literally the only kids i've ever met lol" 
anyway i think this article makes a point that awkwardness is not about us being bad ppl, but more about the uncertainty and fear of creating awkwardness itself. like when we're too afraid to say something or ask a question, it's better to just own up to it and be like "hey, i'm not sure what to say" than to awkwardly fake it 
. "Awkwardness: A Theory" sounds like a total buzzkill, you know? Who needs some philosopher's take on what makes us cringe when we're just trying to have a good time at family gatherings? 
And don't even get me started on the idea that awkward moments are opportunities for growth 
. And don't even get me started on the phrase "let's catch up" – is that code for "I'm so bored"? 
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think about it sometimes we get so worried about doin the "right" thing in a situation but really we're just tryna follow some invisible script thats not even written down lol. like when u r at a party and u dont know wut to say or wut to do... that's awkwardness right there 
. but maybe instead of tryna avoid it, we shd be embracin our inner fumbler and just roll with it? its all about learnin 2 relate 2 the imperfections & makin connections over those cringe-worthy moments 
, but the thing is, it's how we respond to those moments that matters 
. If we try to avoid them or be too perfect, we end up missing out on real connections with others 
. It's about being okay with not having all the answers and just rolling with it 
! I mean, who hasn't had a cringe-worthy moment at some point? But seriously, it's how we respond to those moments that matters. I think Plakias makes a solid point about awkwardness being more about uncertainty and fear of creating discomfort rather than just being shy or socially inept.
. Like, we're all gonna mess up sometimes, but trying to avoid it or be perfect in those situations is just not realistic. It's like when you're at that family gathering and someone says something really cheesy - do you call them out on it? Or do you just roll with it 
It's like, some awkwardness is necessary for us to figure out who we are and where we fit in with others 
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