For years, Michelle Law's mother would repeat a Cantonese idiom to her: "You want beauty, you don't want life." The phrase, which roughly translates to prioritizing physical appearance over one's well-being, was often used by her mother to express disdain for people who put their looks above all else. For Law, the idiom became a mantra, but also a tool of self-judgment that haunted her throughout her adolescence and young adulthood.
As a teenager, Law found herself caught up in the pursuit of beauty at any cost. She overemphasized her appearance, often using heavy makeup and restrictive clothing to conform to societal standards of beauty. Her mother's constant reminders stuck with her, making her feel like she was sacrificing more than just her physical health – she was sacrificing her very life.
But as Law entered adulthood, her priorities shifted once again. With the arrival of motherhood, she found herself shedding old habits and embracing a new sense of self-sufficiency. Gone were the days of carefully curated outfits and makeup; in their place, Law donned layers of practicality, swapping high heels for sneakers and designer handbags for frayed tote bags.
Law's recent experiences as a mother have reinforced her mother's idiom in ways she never could have imagined. While she wants to shield her baby boy from the same pitfalls that once nearly consumed her, she knows it's inevitable that he'll face his own set of challenges – and that will require him to confront the very same priorities that haunted her.
In many ways, Law sees herself as a prisoner of this idiom. She's perpetually aware of the fine line between looking beautiful and being truly alive. And while she's made progress in embracing her authentic self, she knows that it won't be easy for her son to avoid falling prey to these same pressures that once held her hostage.
As Law looks back on her own journey, it becomes clear that "you want beauty, you don't want life" is more than just a cautionary phrase – it's an ongoing battle within herself, one she hopes will ultimately make her son wiser and stronger.
As a teenager, Law found herself caught up in the pursuit of beauty at any cost. She overemphasized her appearance, often using heavy makeup and restrictive clothing to conform to societal standards of beauty. Her mother's constant reminders stuck with her, making her feel like she was sacrificing more than just her physical health – she was sacrificing her very life.
But as Law entered adulthood, her priorities shifted once again. With the arrival of motherhood, she found herself shedding old habits and embracing a new sense of self-sufficiency. Gone were the days of carefully curated outfits and makeup; in their place, Law donned layers of practicality, swapping high heels for sneakers and designer handbags for frayed tote bags.
Law's recent experiences as a mother have reinforced her mother's idiom in ways she never could have imagined. While she wants to shield her baby boy from the same pitfalls that once nearly consumed her, she knows it's inevitable that he'll face his own set of challenges – and that will require him to confront the very same priorities that haunted her.
In many ways, Law sees herself as a prisoner of this idiom. She's perpetually aware of the fine line between looking beautiful and being truly alive. And while she's made progress in embracing her authentic self, she knows that it won't be easy for her son to avoid falling prey to these same pressures that once held her hostage.
As Law looks back on her own journey, it becomes clear that "you want beauty, you don't want life" is more than just a cautionary phrase – it's an ongoing battle within herself, one she hopes will ultimately make her son wiser and stronger.
idk why ppl make such a big deal about beauty standards, its like, what's the point of lookin all pretty if u r miserable lol 
my mom always said the same thing but in a good way, like "be ur self, dont try 2 be sum1 else" 
Law sounds like shes gone thru a lot, but im glad she found her balance now 
as 4 her son, its def hard 2 shield him from societal pressures but hopefully hes got a strong mom behind him 
honestly speaking, I'm so over the obsession with physical appearance 
it's like we're all constantly striving for this unattainable beauty standard that's just not healthy. I mean, can't we just focus on being happy and fulfilled instead? It's crazy to me how something as simple as a phrase from our childhood can stick with us for so long and shape the way we live our lives 
. I mean, Michelle Law's story is all about how she thought she was over her own issues with beauty, but now she's worried about passing them on to her son 
. It's like, we can't just assume our kids will be immune to this stuff just because we think we've moved on 
. There's gotta be some kind of collective awareness here, you feel me? 
! i mean, michelle law's story is literally so relatable lol... who hasn't felt like they're stuck between wanting to look perfect and actually being alive?! it's crazy how our moms' words can shape us into the people we become (in a good way, obvi 
... like, i hope he never has to go through what she did 
. and can we talk about the transition from 'practicality' to 'authenticity' tho?! it's like, law went from hating herself for not being perfect to embracing her true self (no more high heels or designer bags 
). this whole thing is just so raw and honest, it makes me wanna scream 
... but in a good way? 
. However, when taken to an extreme, it can lead to an unhealthy obsession with external validation and a neglect of what truly matters – life itself 
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. I think it's really inspiring that she's acknowledging the damage this phrase did for her & is hoping it won't happen to her son in the same way 
. I think we need to start talking about what's really important in life - happiness, self-acceptance, and being true to yourself 
.
I'd rather see someone be themselves, flaws and all, than try to fit into a mold that's not really their vibe 
. And yeah, there will always be pressure from social media, but it's up to each individual to decide what they want to prioritize: beauty or living life to the fullest 
especially now that social media is all about aesthetics 
people are getting sucked into the vortex of looking perfect online and it's affecting their mental health 
i mean, who needs a designer handbag when you can have a comfy tote bag 
but seriously, this idiom is like a reminder that life is more than just our physical appearance 
we should prioritize our well-being and self-love 
and I'm still reeling from the experience. The food was insane (have you tried those crazy good ramen bowls?! 
) and the scenery was breathtaking – I mean, have you ever seen cherry blossoms in full bloom? 
It's like nature's own work of art. Anyway, back to this article... I think it's really interesting how Michelle Law's perspective on beauty has shifted over time. Like, who doesn't love a good makeover or trying out new fashion trends (I'm guilty of buying way too many clothes 
)? But in all seriousness, it's so relatable when people talk about feeling like they're stuck between appearances and authenticity. Does anyone have any fave self-care rituals for staying grounded?
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And I love how she sees her son going through the same thing – maybe thats what this idiom is all about? Passing on wisdom and experiences to the next gen so they can avoid the mistakes we made 