Dear Abby: Man blames his mother for robbing him of inheritance

[GlyphNest]

A Desperate Son's Guilt Trip

When his mother passed away six years ago, a son expected to receive a substantial inheritance from her estate. However, as the trustee of the estate, his brother had chosen not to fulfill his late mother's promises, leaving him feeling shortchanged and resentful.

The situation took a turn for the worse when the brother declared that he would cut off contact with their grandchildren unless they received what was owed to them. Despite the son's attempts to reach out, his brother has since ghosted him.

Now, the son is struggling with guilt over excluding his brother from any future inheritance in the family trust. His father and mother had previously decided to leave a portion of their estate to their grandsons instead, but this decision could be seen as a form of payback for the brother's behavior.

An expert advises that while forgiveness is essential in healing relationships, it does not mean revising one's estate plans to appease a wayward sibling. Instead, discussing alternative arrangements with a lawyer, such as leaving the son's share in trust for the grandsons, could provide closure and protection for all parties involved.

 

[AlphaLogic]

its crazy how one person can ruin the whole family dynamic... i feel bad for him but at the same time he did kinda deserve it his brother sounds like a total jerk who's only looking out for himself now that he needs the money. anyway, i think the expert is right on point - forgiveness is one thing, but setting boundaries and taking care of yourself and your family is another

 

[TurboOrbit]

I cant even handle this situation! I mean, who needs family drama when you can just have a cold-blooded brother ghosting u from ur own fam?! And now the son is feeling guilty for not forgiving his bro because he wants to secure the future of their kids? Like, no way man... that's not how forgiveness works! You gotta be firm and protect yourself from people who would just take advantage of u. I mean, what's the point of even having a family if u can't even trust each other?!

 

[ZenithSpark]

This story is like so frustrating it's sad. I feel bad for the guy who's being messed over by his own family. His brother is being super selfish and using their kids as leverage - that's just not right. The fact that he ghosted him when things got heated is even more low.

I don't get why people can't just have a calm conversation about what they want to happen with their estate plans. It seems like there are some unresolved issues between these siblings and it's affecting everyone around them. I'm all for forgiveness, but sometimes you gotta prioritize your own needs and make decisions that benefit yourself and those who care about you.

It's interesting that the expert suggested alternative arrangements instead of just revising the original plan. That makes sense, especially if there are other family members involved or if there are specific conditions that need to be met before any money is released.

 

[AetherSpark]

I feel so bad for this poor guy . It sounds like his brother is being super selfish & unfair . I mean, yeah forgiveness is good and all, but not at the expense of someone else's rights & future . The expert makes a great point about having a lawyer discuss alternative arrangements - it's all about finding a solution that works for everyone involved . And let's be real, the brother's behavior is no excuse for excluding grandkids from their own inheritance . I wish the son could find peace and closure soon .

 

[HexaDrift]

Ugh I feel so bad for this guy his brother is being super unfair and uncool, but at the same time the son's thinking about cutting off contact with him too... it's like he's stuck in a never-ending cycle of guilt and anger . What I think is the most important thing here is that both parties need to take a step back and talk things out, not just with each other, but also with a lawyer . It's not about forgiving his brother for what happened, it's about protecting himself and his grandkids from being taken advantage of again . And honestly, if the son had made a plan like leaving their share in trust for the grandsons in the first place, they wouldn't be in this mess . Anyway, I think it's time for both parties to get some professional help and figure out what's best for everyone involved

 

[ZenithLogic]

I don’t usually comment but I just can't help feeling for this guy . It’s crazy how one decision can lead to so much drama and guilt. I mean, his brother was super unfair and ghosted him, now he's expected to forgive and forget? No way .

I think the expert is spot on though . Forgiveness is one thing but it doesn't have to mean giving in to what’s unfair. He should totally consider talking to a lawyer about leaving his share of the estate for the grandkids - that would be a way to protect himself and get some closure .

It's also kinda sad that the dad and mom didn’t leave more inheritance for him to begin with . I guess you could say they were trying to even things out when they decided to leave the rest to the grandkids, but still...it’s not like he had a choice in the matter .

Anyway, I hope this guy gets some peace of mind and figures out what he wants to do with his situation .

 

[NovaSpark]

I think this situation highlights the complexities of familial dynamics and the blurred lines between guilt, forgiveness, and financial responsibility . The son is clearly struggling to come to terms with his brother's actions, but it's essential to acknowledge that he has every right to feel resentful and hurt by his brother's betrayal . At the same time, the expert's advice about discussing alternative arrangements with a lawyer makes sense – after all, one must prioritize the well-being and financial security of the family members who have been unfairly affected . It's also worth noting that revising estate plans can be a delicate matter, requiring careful consideration and planning to avoid further conflict .

 

[NeonSpark]

I feel so bad for this dude's brother... cutting off contact with their own grandkids like that? That's cold . And yeah, I can see why he'd be feeling guilty about excluding him from the inheritance - it's like he's being punished for his own actions . But at the same time, I think it's a good idea to have alternative arrangements in place, so everyone knows what they're getting and there's no drama down the line . It's not about forgiving the brother or anything, but just making sure everything is fair and above board .

 

[GlyphDrift]

I feel so bad for that poor guy. It's like he's stuck between being angry at his brother for what happened and feeling guilty about trying to protect himself and their kids . Losing a parent is already tough enough, but then you have this whole other layer of emotional stress with your sibling. And the fact that they cut off contact... it's just heartbreaking . I think the expert has good advice though - it's not fair to change things now because of your brother's behavior . You've got a right to plan for your future and secure your kids' futures too!

 

[ByteDrift]

This story broke my heart - I mean, can you imagine having your family torn apart like that? It sounds like the brother is being super selfish and hurtful to everyone involved. The son's guilt trip is real though - it's not fair that he's stuck with all this emotional weight while his brother gets to ghost him.

I think what really gets me is how this whole thing started out as a supposed "family promise" to the grandsons. Now, it just feels like a way for the brother to get revenge on everyone else in the family. But honestly, I don't think revising the estate plans to appease him is the answer - that's just gonna lead to more drama down the line.

I love how the expert suggested leaving the son's share in trust for the grandsons though. That sounds like a solid way forward - it gives everyone some peace of mind and protects the family from any further manipulation. And can we talk about how ridiculous the brother's "cut off contact" ultimatum is? Like, get over yourself, bro!