Polyamory: Love Beyond Monogamy
Lily Allen's recent album, West End Girl, features a track that many fans have linked to her own marriage to David Harbour, who dabbled in polyamory with the singer. The album is catchy and angsty, but public reaction went beyond just music criticism – it was a juicy story about infidelity, betrayal, and an affair.
This got me thinking about how polyamory has been explored in literature over the past few years. Novels like Raven Leilani's Luster, which follows a young Black woman navigating a complicated love life with her boyfriend and his wife, have taken center stage. Other books, such as Sally Rooney's Conversations With Friends and Intermezzo, have also delved into throuple relationships.
But what about the traditional affair story? The classic tale of man meets woman, cheats on his partner, and ultimately returns to his wife. This narrative has been retold in countless ways, from Homer's Odyssey to modern-day novels like Andrew Miller's The Land in Winter. Set in rural England in 1962, the book captures the tone and texture of the era and explores the complexities of an affair.
In Miranda July's All Fours, a perimenopause novel that tells the story of a woman who leaves her husband and child to pursue an affair with a young man, we see a different take on infidelity. The narrator is desperate for sex, but ultimately finds it in unexpected ways – not with the man she desires, but with an older woman.
Sarah Manguso's Liars is another recent example of a novel that explores infidelity and its aftermath. When Jane discovers her husband has cheated, she responds with rage, telling her own story in brutal fragments.
Meanwhile, Catherine Lacey's The Möbius Book takes a more experimental approach to exploring desire. Half the book is nonfiction, while the other half is fiction – but the lines between reality and constructed narrative are often blurred. The result can be stilted or constructed, highlighting the limits of language in describing love and sex.
Lauren Elkin's Scaffolding offers a different take on these issues. This novel centers around desire, exploring it through the dual narratives of two couples living in an apartment in Paris. Both couples grapple with independence and stability, home and freedom – and both struggle with affairs.
One thing is clear: writing about infidelity and relationships is a rich and evolving genre. As each generation explores new relationship models and perspectives on longing, ageing, and fear of death, we'll likely see more novels that delve into these complex issues. For now, it seems that polyamory has emerged as an idealized fix-all for the problem of monogamy – but its limitations are also starting to be explored.
Ultimately, the enduring appeal of this genre might be simpler than we think: voyeurism plays a role, yes, but so do our evolving perspectives on what it means to be human. As one character in Scaffolding remarks, "The most interesting part of infidelity isn't will they or won't they – it's everything else around it."
Lily Allen's recent album, West End Girl, features a track that many fans have linked to her own marriage to David Harbour, who dabbled in polyamory with the singer. The album is catchy and angsty, but public reaction went beyond just music criticism – it was a juicy story about infidelity, betrayal, and an affair.
This got me thinking about how polyamory has been explored in literature over the past few years. Novels like Raven Leilani's Luster, which follows a young Black woman navigating a complicated love life with her boyfriend and his wife, have taken center stage. Other books, such as Sally Rooney's Conversations With Friends and Intermezzo, have also delved into throuple relationships.
But what about the traditional affair story? The classic tale of man meets woman, cheats on his partner, and ultimately returns to his wife. This narrative has been retold in countless ways, from Homer's Odyssey to modern-day novels like Andrew Miller's The Land in Winter. Set in rural England in 1962, the book captures the tone and texture of the era and explores the complexities of an affair.
In Miranda July's All Fours, a perimenopause novel that tells the story of a woman who leaves her husband and child to pursue an affair with a young man, we see a different take on infidelity. The narrator is desperate for sex, but ultimately finds it in unexpected ways – not with the man she desires, but with an older woman.
Sarah Manguso's Liars is another recent example of a novel that explores infidelity and its aftermath. When Jane discovers her husband has cheated, she responds with rage, telling her own story in brutal fragments.
Meanwhile, Catherine Lacey's The Möbius Book takes a more experimental approach to exploring desire. Half the book is nonfiction, while the other half is fiction – but the lines between reality and constructed narrative are often blurred. The result can be stilted or constructed, highlighting the limits of language in describing love and sex.
Lauren Elkin's Scaffolding offers a different take on these issues. This novel centers around desire, exploring it through the dual narratives of two couples living in an apartment in Paris. Both couples grapple with independence and stability, home and freedom – and both struggle with affairs.
One thing is clear: writing about infidelity and relationships is a rich and evolving genre. As each generation explores new relationship models and perspectives on longing, ageing, and fear of death, we'll likely see more novels that delve into these complex issues. For now, it seems that polyamory has emerged as an idealized fix-all for the problem of monogamy – but its limitations are also starting to be explored.
Ultimately, the enduring appeal of this genre might be simpler than we think: voyeurism plays a role, yes, but so do our evolving perspectives on what it means to be human. As one character in Scaffolding remarks, "The most interesting part of infidelity isn't will they or won't they – it's everything else around it."
. It makes me think about how our views on love and relationships are shifting, and that's something to celebrate 
. But at the same time, we have to acknowledge that there's no one-size-fits-all solution – just like life, you know? 
We're all human, with our own complexities and emotions.
. And I'm all for exploring different perspectives and experiences.
. It's not just about the drama and excitement of an affair – it's about how it affects everyone involved, and how we navigate those complexities.
. We need to keep exploring different perspectives on love and relationships, and acknowledging the messy, imperfect nature of human emotions 
.
. anyway, i love how books are finally tackling these complex issues with nuance. not just the romantic side but also the messy parts like jealousy, insecurity & fear of being left out 
. btw, who else is team polyamory but also has a deep understanding of its challenges? 
. All these books about complex relationships and affairs are making me think that maybe we're putting too much pressure on love to be perfect 
. I mean, can we really just gloss over the hurt and betrayal of traditional relationships? 
we're still human, with all our flaws and insecurities, so why should our relationships be any different?
Polyamory is getting more attention lately 
, but what about the classic affair story? 
I think it's time to move beyond just polyamory and explore other relationship dynamics 
. We need to talk about the complexities of human desire and longing 
. And let's be real, who hasn't had a crush on someone at some point? 
But at the same time, I think what resonates with me is how Lauren Elkin's Scaffolding explores the human side of it all. Like, we're not just talking about 'will they or won't they' - we're talking about real people with real desires and fears.
I mean, that's a story we've heard before, but now we're seeing all these fresh perspectives on what it means to be human. It's like, our relationships are not just between two people - they're between us, with our own desires and histories and emotions.
. Newsflash: just because someone says they're open to non-monogamy, it doesn't mean we need a whole book about it... or three 
. It's all so performative and exhausting. Can we please just have a conversation about relationships without having to justify every single detail?
but honestly, i'm kinda curious about the older generation's take on it 
